


Saionji is not gay (LIES)

by gay_crocodile



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/F, Gay, M/M, Saionji and Tsumiki are the only characters with dialogue, the rest are just mentioned - Freeform, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 03:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7602160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_crocodile/pseuds/gay_crocodile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is gay. But Saionji isn't. Or is she? I think you know the answer to that.</p>
<p>Gay everywhere. Saionji's boob fetish.</p>
<p>Non-Despair AU. But no Satou. One day I will remember her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saionji is not gay (LIES)

Saionji gags as she observes the couples around her. They’re all gay pigshits. Except Koizumi-nee, of course.

But all the others can go rot, especially Koizumi’s girlfriend Mioda. She’s the gayest pigshit Saionji has ever met. She may be more gay than Komaeda, and that’s saying a lot, Saionji realizes, as she watched said gay person make out with said gay person’s gay boyfriend.

Saionji is not jealous. Heck, Saionji doesn’t get jealous. Jealousy is stupid, it’s just a bully magnet. The short girl grits her teeth as she remembers the bullies, the ones that pull her hair and kick her, and she suddenly feels like calling Tsumiki pig barf for no reason.

Actually, that sounds incorrect. There is a reason why Saionji torments Tsumiki so often. They have similar backstories. They are both victims of bullying, they just act differently towards the bullies. Whenever someone bullies Tsumiki, she offers her body and begs for forgiveness. But when someone bullies Saionji, she kicks them in the balls or shin until they beg for forgiveness.

The difference between a pigshit and Saionji. She spaces out slightly, unaware that to the others, she looks like she’s staring at Kuzuryu and Kazuichi doing… lewd things.

Feeling bored, Saionji swings her legs and counts the number of F/F couples in the room. Saionji scans the room for the largest pair of boobs. There. Owari, with a 93cm chest size. She stares at ‘them’. Her eyes move upwards, and… Ooh. For a split second, Saionji is amazed. In this split second, three thoughts flashed into her mind. “Game console”, “88cm” and “Don’t drool”.

By the way, Saionji is trying to keep this fic family-friendly by not talking about what (who) Owari is doing.

Reluctantly, Saionji looks away from the Boob Couple and continues scanning the room. After some more gagging, she finally spots the Serial Killer Couple. The name is kinda misleading, she admits.

Nevermind is crazy about serial killers and Pekoyama is a serial killer, so they hooked up. Then turns out Pekoyama wasn’t a serial killer, but Nevermind was, quote, “too deep in love to care anymore,” so they continued dating. Saionji is still confused about the whole incident.

Now Pekoyama is carrying Nevermind towards the cottages, and as stated before, Saionji is trying keep this fic family-friendly, so she will give any details whatsoever. But some details have to be shared. Pekoyama and Nevermind are 85 and 83cm respectively.

Now, for the Bashful-But-Actually-Lewd Couple, Koizumi and Mioda. Their relationship is, quote (again), “full of hormone, love, passion and meat,” and Saionji isn’t sure what that means, but knowing strict, caring Koizumi and crazy, gay Mioda, it can mean anything.

Not that Koizumi isn’t gay, but that’s beside the point. And, Saionji is not jealous. She is definitely not jealous that Koizumi-nee is spending more time with Mioda, she is absolutely not jealous that Koizumi-nee looks at Mioda with such loving eyes, she is not jealous that 76cm Mioda gets to touch 77cm Koizumi-nee, nope.

…

…?

Hmm?

Something seems off. For some reason, the gay people (Saionji is never going to admit she’s one of them,even though it's obvious) are more ‘active’ today. Did she put EroEro Soup in the breakfast? Saionji doesn’t think so. Besides, if she did, she herself would be feeling ‘it’ too, since she ate the breakfast too.

Meh. Must be National Sex Day. Hey, come to think of it, this is a great opportunity to make fun of Tsumiki.

Saionji stands up and walks over to Tsumiki. Glaring at the timid nurse, she sneers, “Huuh?? You’re not going to join them? Ah, I forgot. Nobody would be interested in you anyways, you nasty pig barf.” Honestly, Saionji is quite (very) interested in Tsumiki, specifically her 89cm chest, but she’s taking that to her grave.

“I-I’m sorry for b-being pig b-barf!” Tsumiki replies, already starting to tear up. There it was, the stutter. For some reason, the stutter always turns Saionji off, it’s so gross.

“D-Do you want me to t-take off my clothes?”

Oh yes, please, Tsumiki. And stop stammering.

…

Shit, she said that out loud. Shit. No. She can’t erase this. Go along with the flow, Saionji, the flow. Stay calm.

Tsumiki is undressing. SHIT! Saionji has to bite her own tongue to stay calm. Her hand is twitching.

Just a little, maybe. Cop a feel or something. It wouldn’t hurt to indulge a bit, right? Especially with that chest in front of- Ah screw this Saionji is physically hurting from holding back.

As stated twice before, Saionji is trying to keep this fic family-friendly. Keyword being ‘trying’.

**Author's Note:**

> btw koizumi is just a sexy big sister, and saionji is gay for evrybody. or she is gay more busts bigger than hers. ultimate boobs observer. her talent is being able to accurately determine bust sizes by looking only.


End file.
